License to Drive Me Bonkers

I moved to Nashville in 1996 and I still haven't gotten used to the fact that any route you take will either use Old Hickory Boulevard, Briley, and/or Harding, or you'll cross them all. Apparently, the transportation counsel decided it wasn't important for street names to remain intact from one end of the street to the other, nor was it essential that they stay straight. Case in point: to get to my house from the west, you take Old Hickory Boulevard, then turn right on Old Hickory Boulevard. If you continued straight - on a 45 MPH, two lanes each way, plus a suicide turning lane - you'd be on Bell Road. If you turned left, you'd end up on Benzing. The logic (or lack thereof) is astounding.

So this morning, I'm driving to work and I have to turn from the first OHB. I approach the traffic light, wanting to turn right. As this is a looong light with a moody sensor which often chooses to ignore vehicles, I opt to head east on Bell Road. I can turn on red if need be - and the need almost always bes.

I'm slowing down and a car originally in the left turn lane (to continue on OHB instead of going straight into Benzing) (I know I just stated that above, but it's absurd enough to repeat) decides she needs to go another direction. Without using those pesky, distracting turn signals, she whips into my lane in front of me. I'm not close enough to slam on my brakes, but it's a better wakeup call than the Coke I'll drink when I arrive at the office.

She inches into the intersection and aims her car toward Bell. If my car was directly behind hers, we'd be 6:10. She's seriously that far into the road. But she won't move. Her engine's running, she's watching the empty street. I see no cell phone, and if she's on a bluetooth or hands-free, she's not talking. Apparently, it's more important to her to simply clog the road and disillusion other drivers from their thoughts of timely arrivals.

I figure if I didn't honk my horn when she cut me off originally, I should probably hold back now. But after a solid minute of sitting in a car with no working radio, I nudge the horn. She either can't hear or ignores me. Unsurprising.

The light finally turns green and I appreciate the chance at a new morning, since I can pass her on Bell Road. Nope. She continues to watch the non-existent oncoming traffic that would have to wait at their red light if they were there. I debate swerving around her sportscar so I won't have to endure another cycle.

Suddenly, she sweeps a wide loop to the left after the last car on my OHB makes their turn. Whew. No clue how many other folks she confused/annoyed/collided with this morning, but I was thankful she was no longer playing Spy Hunter along my route.