Lemmings

...And you shall read my blog! And you shall cherish me and worship my brilliance! And you shall print hard copies to have something to tape in public restroom stalls for strangers to peruse as they sit and do their business! And you shall not hand-write at the top of each copy "to be used as toilet paper, but be careful, because the writer is already full of crap!" And you shall bring to mind the Ten Commandments, merely from the usage of the word "shall!" And you shan't use it's negative contraction, as it sounds like a dirty word! And you shall mentally separate these ideas into their own paragraphs while I deem it unnecessary! And you shall thank me for providing leadership and mentorship while sinking your mental battleship! And you shall recognize the crucial importance of doing all of the above because each directive ends with an exclamation point! And you shall consider this sufficient for a Friday entry!