Miss Elainey

If ever you need to stage a fight where one participant takes a roundhouse punch to the jaw, add the flair of knocking a few teeth out. In lieu of dental surgeries to properly yank molars, you can use white, peppermint life savers. Simply bite them into quarters, and with a quick spit into the hand, they look like broken teeth.


My wife wants a dog. I'm not allowed to offer hot dogs as the primary dinner option when it's my night for cooking. Somewhere in there is a hypocritical paradox.


Why hasn't anyone yet created scratch and sniff tattoos? I saw someone had implants beneath a girlie tattoo to provide actual buxomness to the illustration. Can some refillable aroma source be that far behind? (No, placing a skunk tattoo on an armpit doesn't qualify.)


Motorcycles lack the proper real estate for bumper stickers. I have seen riders utilize their helmets for such a purpose, though. (There's a joke/witty observation in here somewhere, but I can't find it and won't waste my time searching for it.)


Try as I might, I can think of few things more disturbing than a highly ticklish sumo wrestler. Hopefully that image won't haunt you for the rest of your day as well.