Pressure for Intelligent Substance

A few minutes ago, I posted on Ebert's blog. (I'd say Roger Ebert's blog, but I assume the surname is sufficient, as if he was a female pop singer or South American soccer player.) I could link his blog here, but my [miniscule] readership is intelligent enough to use Google, plus if you're one of the people that came here because of my link there, you need only hit your Back button.

On the off-chance you (1) were transported here from clicking my name on Ebert's blog and (2) haven't yet hit said Back button, I feel like I should prepare a worthwhile welcome -- something witty and sincere, something to convey the care I may or may not feel about you. It should portray this blog as the meaningless writer's idea book that it sometimes is, and you should think to yourself, "With a lifetime of practice and polish, this Becker guy's drivel could resemble a lesser draft of a Steve Martin piece." After all, we should all have aspirations.

If, however, you didn't travel to my corner of cyberspace via the Ebert link, odds are you're one of the six people I already know. As such, I should reward you for being stalwart followers of my babble, consistently encouraging me to greater heights (allowing me to bang my head against this blog's glass ceiling even harder). With every abusive slam, my brain swells, a side effect of which is mind growth and potential for more ideas to reside up there in the new expansion. Because of "friends" like you, I'll eventually be able to have... I dunno... SEVEN people follow me. (If too many people stalk, will it be as if I have my own Verizon network. They'd be creepy when I want a quiet moment with my wife.)

So to all the people who have made it this far, I salute you. I've never served in the military, I wasn't a cub scout, I didn't root for the Denver Broncos in the late 90s, and though I've done many a Bronx salute, I'll spare you that indignity. But consider yourself saluted.

Salud!

(And with that, I can safely state I failed in my endeavor for intelligent substance. At least I'm consistent.)